Day ONE Of My Awakening Prologue Meditation Experience

For the passed six months I have begun to learn about the early stages of

  Meditation and Astro projection.

 I've made the decision to dip into this world , for my own inner p e a c e.

There are a lot of things that I've continued to hold on to in my life. 

Things that I can't seem to shake from my past.

 Einstein says, the only way to make a change in yourself; is to change what you're doing.

I know a lot of what I've been doing; is building myself as a person, but spiritually I've felt lost.

I feel like as a writer, it's natural for you to have to open up deeper parts of yourself through an expression of w o r d s. So I'm going to get a little deep for a moment and talk about some inner anger I've held on to in my life.

My [M O T H E R] although I feel using that term isn't appropriate for what she ACTUALLY is to me.

I used to hide in my closet from her at night, I'd pray to God that some how the age of 18 would come magically fast, or maybe she'd finally just let me go live with my Dad.

I think about it a lot, why it is she kept me.

 I don't think it was ever for the right reasons.

She put me down whenever I would begin to shine.
She went from being really happy and excited, to all of a sudden angry and aggressive.

The odd part is, a lot of people with a similar story seem to have something to blame it on. Whether their parent had a problem with alcohol or maybe it drugs that caused them to be a certain way.

 But my Mother was her mistakes were solely by c h o i c e.

Do you want to know what TRULY scared me the most about her???

It wasn't her random acts of pure violence...

Or her hateful word...

Or her ability to always act like she is the victim in any situation..

No, it was none of those things.

What I was truly afraid of was the possibility of ever becoming ANYTHING like her.

Time and time again I forgive my Mother for her hateful outbursts she unleashes on me.
 But I can't shake this feeling that I could actually take on any of her characteristics'.

So I made a choice.

The only way to avoid ever becoming like her..

was to find p e a c e.

This means that I need to let go of all of the things that have happened to me and all of the mistakes that I have made that have effected other people.

By me holding on to all of those things, it really just sets me up in becoming the type of person I'm trying to avoid.

Back to what I said earlier, the only way to make a change in myself is to change what I am doing.

So after doing research and learning more about this experience, as well receiving this kit from a vert special person... I've begun to do a 30 day Meditation challenge.

I'm beginning this by listening to the F I R S T track for Thirty minutes a day for 14 days

Afterward, I will start the S E C O N D track and increase it to 1 hour for another 30 days.

The beauty of this structure is that by using these specific headphones, the beats coming through on the track actually adjust brain waves almost forcing me to get into this state of relaxation and begin to actually mediate.

So people with my problem...what we call { A D D } that  have a tough time with this because they cannot seem to slow their brain down, get a positive experience from this.

I'm told that by the end of this challenge, I will understand exactly who I am as a person.

 I will feel inner peace and have a much more fulfilled happy life.

Naturally as a writer, I feel I should share my experience.

 Here G O E S ....

Day ONE

*{Awakening Prologue}*

I sat down in the upright position in my chair in a silent room

 I put on my Skull Candy Slasher large-set head phones 

I closed my eyes. 

At first, I had a hard time not thinking about 20938298 different things.

But slowly I began to notice the way my thoughts would divert into a specific sound that I could hear on this track. 

I started to feel euphoria

 I started to be able to feel all of these different senses in my body.

 My hands and feet started to tingle and I felt really calm..

Those thirty minutes went by very quickly and I finished with a heightened sense of what I was feeling

So far... so good.

I'll keep documenting

Above & Beyond feat. Zoë Johnston - "We're All We Need"

Above & Beyond has a rep for making incredibly inspiring but also very relatable music videos.



....A few weeks ago they officially released this new track/video in Timesquare just one night prior to their sold out ABGT100 show taking place at Madison Square Garden.



I personally attended the show, as an attendee (not press) and it was an epic performance to say the least!

This music video truly shows the meaning behind the track..... without a single doubt..



CHECK IT OUT

We're all we need <3

My "Welcome to New York," Taylor Swift Just GETS It

Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm sure a lot of you are seeing the title of this blog post & thinking, "Please, not another thing about T Swift." But I am a true believer that music is an art and we should learn to treat it that way, with real open mindedness.



That being said, I have followed Swifts journey since the very beginning. She's the same age as me so a lot of the stages in her life she sings about are very relatable to me. All the way from the track "Tim McGraw" to "22" and even "I Knew You Were Trouble."! I even grew to enjoy finding mix tracks with her collaborations on them like "mean planes" with Wiz Khalifa. It's inspiring to see someone of our generation become such an icon, yet continues to remain so classy and alluring regardless.



It's amazing because I generally never purchase hard albums copies, I usually always buy through ITunes or Mp3 million. But it's become a tradition in my life to always physically purchase her album in stores right around the time it comes out..



When I met Landon, one of the things that he told me.. made him fall in love with me was the fact that I had the newest RHCP album on my phone...... before he did...



One of the things I fell in love with about Landon.... was the fact that he had a PLAY LIST entitled

 "T-Swift Favs."



... that's right, my skateboarder, surfer, skier, 27 year old husband..... who's favorite artists are Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jimmy Buffett and Paul McCartney... actually loves Taylor Swift.

That truly shows the large audience she really does have...



So.....



......my newly-wed husband has kept up my tradition in buying hard copies of her albums by surprising me the day its released....with it next to our bed! Naturally,  her newest album 1989 is apart of my hard-copy collection...... I almost don't even remember how to download a CD into my ITunes anymore ;) hahaha jk.



ANYWAYS all I have to say about this album is....



 WOW!!!...



....Not to  mention what a crazy coincidence it is that this Boise, Idaho girl is a new resident of NYC currently.... so "Welcome To New York" is amazingly appropriate.



I've decided to make a flipagram video to portray my "Welcome to New York" experience thus far...



THANKS T-SWIFT for always being such a motivation to me and all of your other fans!

Video of the week for all you couples out there!!

I think this video describes young love so beautifully, the song is also an array of original beats mixed together with the alluring male vocals. 





HAPPY 1ST WEEK OF NOVEMBER!!!





-L

Fall Out Boy - Save Rock And Roll ft. Elton John VID OF THE WEEK

... Okay so I know I said this would be a Thursday thing, but this week I've had some unfortunate technical difficulties...


I thought choosing Apple was always the best decision. But my goodness lately.. I'm not so sure!



Anyway back to the topic at hand, I did some digging for a video...



IN the spirit of Halloween.. lets just talk about the

                                               

                                               Fall Out Boy: 'Save Rock & Roll' music video..



OHHH HEYY ELTON JOHN... still continuing to be bad ass, as per usual!


& WOAAAHH what a twisted video!


.. But in the best way of course.




CHEERS!


"You are what you love, not who loves you"



-L

Zedd - Stay The Night ft. Hayley Williams

Here's what I'm doing...

• Every week I am going to pick a favorite music video, they may be newer videos... or even possibly just hidden treasures that I find.

starting NOW

This video I find absolutely inspiring, the song is obviously a great mix between Hayley Williams's vocals and Zedd's KILLER beats. BUT HOLY COW the way this music video is shot with the dynamic of this couple portrayed through dance. 

I don't even have words. 

This is CLEARLY my video pick of the week.

Thursdays sound like an okay day to post these???... Get you all pumped for the weekend ;)

SOUNDS GOOD. 

As the Brit's say, CHEERS!

-L

Just sitting on a train

Look around...

What do you see?

six people...

three on each side of this small train-cart…

Staring all at the same thing…

Yet each of these things is oddly different…

What is it you ask, that they are all staring at?

Their own images of comfortability...

how much easier is it to look down at a screen?

Rather then taking the time to look at a person and make some minuscule of an awkward conversation?

What do you enjoy more? 

Comfortability or fear?

I know your answer.

Because I know what my basic instinct of an answer is.

So I'd like you to do me this one small favor

But really... this favor isn't truly for me...

It's mainly for you.

You take what you want from my words..

but please...

The next time you see your self in that type of a situation..

… Cause I know you will...

.. I challenge you...

to take your eyes off of whatever is glamouring your attention at that moment...

& look at the people doing the same thing you are ….all around you,

…. Then look down at your hand...

in your mind you are just an eminent object, right?

Well, guess what.. 

...you're not

If this is the only life that we are given... 

What are the things you want to remember?

I know It wont be staring down at a screen on a train for two hours each day...

I do know WHAT it really COULD be....

that crazy funny story you heard from that guy who had an INSANE russian accent..

… That obviously lost woman needing help.... who looks like she probably has a deadline she needs to make...

That devious looking young man with head phones in.... holding a skateboard... with a complete sense of purpose in life that you may even slightly admire...

or is maybe that guy you met who was in town for one week working on an international television show?...

it just might even be that doctor that happened to have saved a life that day.

Who in this world do you want to learn from before you die?

What in this world do you want to remember?

The choice is yours..

I just wanted to make more obvious to you..in my words.

Sincerely,

One of you.

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” 

-Anais Nin

Where words fail, music speaks.: We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fea...

Where words fail, music speaks.: We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fea...: The smile that brings so many un-answered questions to light. A tool that all of us posses but often choose not to   U S E It's...

We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fear

The smile that brings so many un-answered questions to light. A tool that all of us posses but often choose not to  U S E

It's been a couple of weeks since I've blogged...

Don't worry, I've been feeling my subconscious mind tugging at me to get on it.

It's sort of my way of displaying art, it has to be the right moment, it will hit me often at the weirdest times and I always try to go with it.

I'm making myself vulnerable... putting my experiences and passions out there for the world to see. But I'm not going to filter it, everything I'm giving you is real and based on my own point of views from my own personal experiences.

That being said....

As I've touched on in previous posts, I've been extremely intrigued and eager to learn off of the people around me. Doing so, has also inspired me to read specific books, most recently, "How to win friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I've began using some of the tactics he speaks on... I admired many of things he touches on but there was a few in particular I put to the test....

The power of remembering a persons name, smiling, ... & choosing to
       listen to understand and then be understood.

...part of my current job has me attending many different concerts, festivals and local shows. I was more recently asked to attend a show in a particular genre that I do not have a lot of experience covering.

They classify this genre as "Metal"...  don't get my wrong the beauty of the position I have makes it so that I have a very open mind to music...
It takes a lot to get me to NOT enjoy a live performance...

                        Music is art, an art I will always appreciate.

... back to the story

I arrived at the show, obtained my press pass and went inside. I did all I could to "Grunge down" in an efforts to bring less attention to my 5'11 blonde self.... it was tough but I did my best.

As I watched the first performance I became engrossed into the beauty behind their music, these guys get so passionately into their performance that it makes it hard not to be envious of their freedom.

Soon after the group I came to watch finished, there was 3 other performances to come.

I didn't need to stay...

But as I stood there completely alone looking around the room, I thought to myself...

I need to start taking my own advice as well as Dale Carnegie's advice....
Instead of satisfying my feeling of awkwardness by leaving, I need to use this moment to my advantage.

I took a look around and realized I could make this into an opportunity. I do not know a single person here

... but there are so many different personality types at this event, people I am not usually around... that I could learn something.

Instead of diving in to other peoples conversations, I grabbed a drink...sat a table... and simply just S M I L E D

....Up walks a tall curly haired guy wearing the same band T-Shirt as I... he commented on the shirt and asked how I knew the band..from there we just dove into conversations about different types of music... along with our common interest in snowboarding...

Soon after his friends joined, politely introducing themselves to me and beginning to talk with me just as well.

Soon enough we were all dancing and laughing, enjoying what was left of the show. After it ended I was lingering around talking to the group as people began to trickle out...

I look towards the stage and I see a guy and a girl in the center of the venue ...

Pretending to have a samurai sword fight.....

                       I'm dead serious

They had imaginary swords in their hands and they were pretending to have a true ninja sword fight....

I could see people randomly glancing their way, making that " Wow...those people" facial expressions...

... & maybe it's just the Idaho girl in me...

.... but I thought it was absolutely hilarious, amusing and just all around awesome that they just didn't give a single... [insert bad word here]

So I decided to go up to them and tell them that for myself...

& I am pretty sure it made their entire night, completely unaware anyone even noticed..

                       It's those little random moments that I treasure most.

I create my own reality, I can choose to either go with the moment, or just go along like all the other moving trains in the world.

                                    Which would you prefer?


.....

Back to the group I spoke about earlier, a few of the boys/girls were actually in the band I originally came to see....

They all began talking up this ski trip they were planning that weekend and spoke about how excited they were to have rented a cabin for 4 days in Beech Mountain, North Carolina..

.. I was so curious about the types of Ski Mountains this side of the country has to offer that I began asking questions, before I knew it they were inviting Landon & myself to join...

Yes that's right, they invited us to come with them...

What would most people do in that situation? ... Make up excuses? ... Say things such as,
"Well I don't know them that well"
"It would take a lot of time to drive up there.."
... I can go on???

When I presented this idea to Landon...
he basically said, "Okay so when are we leaving?"

.... when it comes to the freedom of the mountain, we don't ask questions we just go with it...

SO.. You guessed it, we drove the 5 hours to a rented cabin in North Carolina all to ski/board with a group of people we barely knew for the weekend...

and guess what?

I can honestly say....

We've now made friends that will always, in some way be apart of our lives forever.

It was so comforting being around personalities that reminded me of people back home in the West.....

very free spirited, open minded, happy with their lives and just all around G O O D.

To sum up what I am trying to portray in this post....

What would've happened if I had just left the venue after the first band finished...

if I would've just went with the fact that I was there alone......
and made a point to just leave...

That probably would've been the easiest decision I could have made....

But look what I got out of the route I went with?

I pushed through a fear and sugarcoated it with a smile...

and I made some amazing memories

and more importantly,

some amazing F R I E N D S

["You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie]

Words to think about...

What categorizes an individual as successful? What is it that places us into these small groups labeled...

[Loser, Prep, Princess, Ignorant, Rude, Boring, Ugly, Failure, Trashy, Hippie, Classy, Sassy, Cocky, Cheap, Annoying, Insecure, etc. etc]

Is it our passed decisions? Our upbringing? Our current lifestyle choices? Our prior relationships? Our parents or their decisions? Our talents? Our success's? Our ambitions?

In all honesty I feel that there is no true determining factor as to what places us in to these small classifications, it's all observations and opinions of those around us.

But what if we could all learn this one thing...

This one very simple thing...

This one possibly life changing thing.....

And that is...

Not a single INDIVIDUAL THINKS the same way as YOU DO.

There are millions of determining factors that make a person have the beliefs they carry and that's not a bad thing. But why is it that we can't all realize THAT one thing.... before we go about judging?

Why is it that we can't all become CURIOUS not judgmental.....

Is it some sort of underlying self esteem issue?
Is it because of what we've been told is the "right" way to live your lives? ...

....Truthfully I'm not sure, but it's something that I have been toying with a lot lately.
I completely understand a persons decision to surround themselves with people that have a similar life style as them, but I cannot wrap my head around people who look at others with pure judgment and complete close mindedness.

I myself used to be guilty of this, back in high-school when I thought that Boise, Idaho was the center of the universe
.... and who I was then, was who I was going to be for the rest of my life.

But then I realized...

We hold the key to be whoever we want to be.
Understanding other people's struggles instead of condemning them, acknowledging other people's beliefs and opinions instead surveying them....
just imagine all that we could achieve with just that one way of thinking...

The inspiration for this entry is something going on in my personal life....

I have these 2 friends, both of which I consider genuine people in my life.
Neither of which are friends with each other ...

One of them is what you'd call, if you choose to label her, a 'Hippie.' A person of the Earth, a girl who refuses to eat anything associated with an animal and who aspires to see all she can see in this lifetime. She's had a rough up-bringing but has only used it to become something stronger. A girl who wears minimal make up, and doesn't spend a lot time or money on her appearance, but is truly beautiful.

Then there is my other friend. The tall blonde 'princess,' a girl who has had an amazing family that has given her every opportunity she'd could dream of. She genuinely cares about her appearance & works hard to keep it up. A girl who has every social skill you'd could want and dozens of friends that love her. A girl who is considered "the girl next door" completely UN-attainable to a lot of men. She is absolutely caring to anyone that needs her & is also truly beautiful.

I love both of these girls, just like sisters.
These two girls have absolutely NOTHING in common, except just ONE thing....

Their close minded natures. 

You see, the couple of times I have brought these two around each other, they hated each other. The reason being, each is very set on their ways. Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing, but it's important for us to remember that there is no RIGHT way...

We're all just doing what we can to make what we want out of our lives. Each of us have our own reasons for feeling certain ways, we have our own reasons for being "vegans" or "meat eaters"... for being a person that chooses to smoke weed... or a person that will never go near it with a fear of what could happen.

Both girls think of each-other as "Ignorant"... their word, not mine.
I feel like our society scares us into these people were supposed to be, and anyone that steps outside of that is to be isolated into a particular "category."

Imagine what we could become if we just learned to open up our eyes?
Imagine what we could become if we all just realized how short-lived our time truly is.... Imagine what we could learn from each-other by taking away this fear...

We're all just the same you know...

Built with good intentions... with hope for a better future.... built with intrigue... and the ability to achieve true success....

You don't believe me??...

This passed Friday night I played a little game with some friends...
I noticed a lot of people in the room, staring, looking around with a strange silence about them....

So I wanted a challenge... I asked the boys to look around this very crowded room and find the most miserable, unhappy, angry looking people.... and point them out to me.. then I told them to watch what I could do...

The first person they pointed out was a mid-20's blonde girl standing with her friends, drinking, with a mean look stemming from her eyes. You could just read her energy, she was not an approachable person.

Challenge Accepted.

I approached her immediately, acknowledging all of the people she was standing with, with a simple gracious smile. I looked at her and told her that she looked absolutely fabulous in blue, blonde's have certain colors that stand out beautifully on them and she had chosen the right one. Instantly her wall came down, she smiled and thanked me going on about how she had searched for something to wear for hours that night.

As I stood with this group and continued talking with them, I realized something. This "angry looking" girl's best friend was the center of attention, all of the boys were extremely magnetic to this friend and it seemed as though she was barely able to get a word in edge wise, which probably had a lot to do with her body language...

It's funny huh?... What you wouldn't realize about someone until you gave them a chance...

Most of us are easily brought down by flattery or simple small talk....

So I challenge you....

Watch what you can achieve. 

-L

"Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be truth seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions" -The Script "Hall Of Fame"

Cross country drives bring more then just miles to your car...

We ask ourselves often why we don't travel more? We make up our own reasons such as finances, time, prior commitments, family, etc. But what is really holding us back from seeing the world? In most cases it's none of those things.... in most cases, it's F E A R 

As you know I currently reside in Atlanta, Georgia but I am originally from the great state of Idaho. Plane tickets back home aren't ideal for a 23 year old writer with baby puppies, so my other half & I usually drive back and make a trip out of it. Stopping along the way to ski/snowboard as well as see people in our west coast states. 

We started our journey five days prior to Christmas, planning to spend it with my family in Boise. My little brothers and sister are still very little and Christmas is a very exciting time for them. I've never missed a Christmas in the time that the three of them have been born and I didn't intend to start, even though there were 2000 miles in between us... seeing those sweet faces Christmas morning is worth every second of it. 

Of course spending time in your home town has it's perks, it also has a weird way of showing you the person you are now. I am thankful every single day for leaving, mainly because I really found myself. Going back home to visit really shows me that those roots actually are what make you, but what you do with those roots once they have formed, are what define you.

 I observed a lot of things this trip back home and realized the things I truly value. My family isn't perfect, but who's family is? The one thing that I truly admire about them is their ability to forgive. I'll hear about all of these different things going on with different members of the family, negative things, angry statements and numerous dramatic outbursts. But NO MATTER what I hear, during our yearly family Christmas-eve party, EVERYONE is invited, treated the same, is loved, cared about and everyone is Family. 

My Grandma has always said to me "sweetie, you can't change them. You just have to love them." I have always respected her for saying that. She has always stood beside every single one of her kids/grand kids no matter what they've done or how they've treated her. She is what they call a real Guardian Angel.

But there are also two people I love dearly and truly look up to. My GREAT Grandparents, that's right... GREAT Grandparents. I call them my Nana & Papa.

They are still going just as strong as most peoples' Grandparents. They have been together since they were 15 years old and have always had such a deep faith in God. 

.... My Papa has always paid for everything in cash, his whole life has been cash only. He believes that if you can't pay for something in full, then you don't need it. He's built the house in the hills that my Nana lives in, by hand. 

It is absolutely beautiful up there, I have memories of going there from the time I was a very little girl and going back to visit always makes me feel so warm and comfortable.

Landon and I decided that people like my Nana & Papa are the people you want to learn from. They are wise beyond their years and have seen way more then A LOT of people. They are the ones to be curious about and to learn from, and we took this opportunity visiting to do so. We were very blessed for that.

Straight from Idaho we made the trip to Landon's home town of Salt Lake City, Utah. Getting a chance to spend time with his family as well as to ski one of our favorite mountains! It was a great experience, we got the chance to go on a family trip to the Lava Hot Springs (something his family has done for years) and I had the amazing moment where I actually felt accepted by them. Which is something I have longed for, and another story all in its own. 

... FINALLY getting the chance to go to the top of a mountain with the whole world beneath me was enchanting. Snowboarding gives me one of the most freeing feelings I could ever search for. I get that moment to forget about everything going on around me and enter a state of peace, which is completely priceless. 

So I know a lot of the entry has been just repetitive stories about seeing family and our trip home... but I had a point in giving this back-story. A moment that inspired me, like most of the inspirations for my entries, this one got me thinking. 

We had planned to spend New Years in Denver, Colorado at a music festival called "Decadence" where were intended to meet some friends.

During our excursion from SLC to Denver, we stopped at a gas station in the middle of no-where... & as we were leaving, we saw a bunch of young people standing outside a van & a car with a sign that said, "Ran out of gas."

These weren't just any bunch of young kids that ran out of gas, these people looked like true hippies. 

Now when I say hippies, I don't want you to picture a 'Bum' looking kid.... or even someone dirty lacking any motivational skills. 

What I saw in these people was Freedom.  From what I could tell, these were Gypsies. Young people that made the decision to see how far they could get simply living off of the grid. Traveling as far as they could, viewing as much of the world as they could and viewing it not just with their eyes, but with their hearts. 

Who's to say these people are the wrong ones in this scenario? At least they stopped making up excuses and starting making adventures instead. 

.... Naturally I gave them they ten dollar bill in my purse. They took it from me, smiled while bowing and said,"bless you."

I almost wanted to thank them, for doing what many cant. God intended for all of us to learn from each other, interact and live off of the land. Granted times have changed and living in the moment isn't realistic anymore, it's still inspiring to see people like that. I sit and wonder about all of the things they've seen, who they've met, stories they probably have.......  all I can do is smile. 

The legendary Tom Petty sings a song that's lyrics I feel portray this part of my entry very well.

"Well I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still
I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing
Well the good ol' days may not return
And the rocks might melt and the sea may burn
Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out for God knows where

........I guess I'll know when I get there."